mmm0303

Swing Thru’s News
(a.k.a. Marilyn's Monthly Muse March, 2003)

By Marilyn with the help of Steven Wright (italics)

I wonder if I am the first club to submit their news article for the Bulletin this month? At the dinner at Bennett’s BBQ during the state meeting the editor of another Bulletin told me that one they had a club submit their monthly newsletters a year in advance. (Now that’s what I call news!) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. But being late also has its advantages as well. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
With the cost of living going up, sometimes it is hard for clubs to make ends meet. Here is a solution. Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. One thing that the Swing Thru’s have started is to keep statistics of our dances. We have been keeping who is calling, who is cueing, total attendance (guests and members), weather, etc. This seems like a lot of work since, 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. We have also been trying different ideas relating to the refreshments that we serve and when we serve them. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. Let us know what you like and don’t like and we will take this into consideration.

   I hope that you will be able to dance with us this month. Our first dance will be on March 7^th featuring "All Singing Calls", with our famous duo Jim and Betty Falk. Did you see the rainbow with the pot of gold on our Shamrock Ball ad? If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. We are looking forward to the calling of Dave Guille. Since Dave is from Wyoming, he spends many hours on I-25. Hope he remembers that when everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. This dance is on March 21^st.
   I thought I better give credit for the sayings that I have imbedded in this article. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
   We would love to see you at our dances. If you come you might find your picture on our web site www.squaredancing.com/swingthrus. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. Jack Hess continues to do an excellent job as our web master.
   We dance at the Victory Grange just south of I-70 and Tower in Aurora. It is just seconds away from most anywhere in Denver traveling at the speed of light. OK, so what's the speed of dark? If you get a ticket, I know a great lawyer. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Well I’m out of news and have lots of sayings left, so here’s the rest. Have a great month.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Half the people you know are below average.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now .

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes,
so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.